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Juneteenth Remembrance -Rest
Juneteenth remembrance should be a day of rest. Rest is something that I have had problems with. Burned out does not even begin to describe how I felt being an educator and a business owner. The bags under my eyes, my skin, and my body all told the story. Trying to be my Ancestor’s wildest dreams I forgot that their major dream was to rest. To have a choice on when to work. Working hard is ingrained into our DNA. I am making a choice to not only rest in remembrance of Juneteenth, but to rest when my body tells me to.
Our Ancestors wildest dream was to rest.
Our Ancestors wildest dream was to laugh without punishment.
Our Ancestors wildest dream was to create just for themselves.
Our Ancestors wildest dream was freedom.
When we hustle hard, push through, and make a way we are only honoring one part of our Ancestors dreams. Today take time to rest in their honor. Take time to call family and friends to check in. Take time to create. Take time to do anything that gives you pleasure.
How are you honoring your Ancestors today?
The Juneteenth Affirmation is from Julia Mallory, Black Mermaids
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Finding Freedom in Your Own Body
A few weeks ago I joined Clubhouse after swearing I wasn’t going to do it because I am team Android. Many of the business womxn I know told me it was made for me and my message. I got on and whoa! It was like the damn Wild West on this Clubhouse streets. I was not impressed and was really ready to chuck the duces and keep it moving. After more exploration and really cultivating my interest, I think I kinda got the hang of it now.
A few days into my journey I ran across a room for photographers and decided to join because the title of the room was Purpose and Positivity in Photography. I listened for a while and then decided to get bold and raise my hand to go on stage. I did this because representation matters. As I recall there was only one person of color on the stage. I got on stage talked my shit, answered a question or two, and left.
I received so many messages and follows after this. Amazing messages thanking me for getting on stage and how much it meant to see me there. I was even invited to be apart of a podcast! There will be times when you are uncertain about what you are going to say, but you know you need to speak up. Always speak up, because you never know who is listening and who you inspire.
LISTEN TO THE PODCAST EPISODE HERE:
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A year in review
Whew child! 2020 has been a year where I have stepped fully into damn myself. No longer worried about what others think of me and how I express myself. It has been a year for telling my story on my own terms. Embracing my spirituality and growing into my relationship with my Ancestors. Realizing that I have to be honest with myself, even when it hurts. Healing is a journey, even when you think you are finished, there is always more.
This year has also been the year for asking for help and building community. Being dependent on others and allowing people in has been a struggle. Not just a struggle, but a strug-gleee! Past trauma does that to us if we are not careful. Our past will show up in the present as self-sabotaging behavior or imposter syndrome and we don’t even realize it. I am grateful to my Ancestors and the Creator that amazing sister-friends are in my life who give it to me straight, no chaser! The end of 2020 has been emotional, but very much needed. A purge of my past to bring forth the love, sisterhood, and abundance I deserve.
Now that, that is out of the way, this has been a year of self-portraits for me. Honestly, it has helped me be a better boudoir photographer when I practice posing. It has also helped me get in touch with my inner goddess, sensuality, and sexuality. Check out my Tulum selfies here. My phone has been my self-portrait camera, but I decided to take it up a notch and use my baby with it’s self-timer. I plan to make this a monthly personal project and at the end of 2021 see my progression. Enjoy and Happy New Year!
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Fearless and 35
Fearless and 35! 34 did not end how I thought it would… in a damn pandemic! I didn’t let it stop me, but propel me to plan. Every year I plan to do something that challenges or is out of the ordinary for me. Before my 34th year ended I did three things, that were out of the ordinary for me. I traveled solo to Tulum, Mexico, and relaxed like I have never relaxed before. I did nothing, but read, ate, and got massages. I even had time to do an affirmation video that you can check out on my IG TV . I did travel to Greece solo, but this trip I was actually by myself. No meetups planned, just me.
I logged out of social media and enjoyed my company. I sat outside and listened to the roosters be loud as hell. I ate tacos and drank tequila. I walked the streets of Tulum and even went to the beach. Going to the beach was so freeing. I stuffed my face and me and my big belly walked right to the ocean. I felt at peace.
Check out my mini self portraits I took during the trip.
The second thing I did was get my nose pierced! I was scared shitless for sure, but I did it. I even had to do it twice because it fell out a week after I got it the first time. That was not fun and I do not recommend it.
The third thing I did was have a boudoir experience with Celeste Patrice Boudoir. Whew child Celeste got me and I felt like a damn goddess. I was even able to help her by modeling with a friend for a couples experience. I cannot wait for the adventures I plan to take during 35! What are some things you plan to do this year by stepping on the other side of fear? Will you be fearless and free at any age?
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Curl Fest 2019
This was my first time at Curl Fest and all I can say it WOW! I tried to attend last year, but those tickets sold out so damn fast! As soon as I saw the notification on Instagram I put it on my calendar with an alarm. Yes, it was that serious Beauties. I managed to get two tickets by the skin of my teeth! (Ok maybe that is a little dramatic, but you get what I mean.) Amtrak was having a 2 for 1 sale so I booked that too.
I was in love with this jump suit! I woke up before the sun did on Saturday morning to drive to Baltimore with my bestie. We got the 6:05 AM train at Penn Station and of course I could not sleep the entire way. I was to damned excited! We managed to make it to New York in one piece and luckily I have an amazing memory. We were trying to find a breakfast spot and I remembered a place I went to earlier in the year with my sisters.
I am not going to lie. I followed this sis trying to get a picture of her dog purse. Now when we finally made it to the festival I was in awe of all the black beauty I saw, if you follow me on IG you say this in my stories. So many hues, hair styles and the FASHIONS! Whew chilay the color yellow was made for brown skin girls. When I tell you the line to get in had to a mile long. That is no exaggeration! I was so glad that we got there when we did because I couldn’t even see the end of the line after 15 minutes.
I got a beautiful pin from these gorgeous queens. When we got to the front to get in I had my phone ready to get my e-tickets scanned. I didn’t even need to have it out, because they were not checked. I was a little perturbed about that because I had stalked that site to make sure I was able to purchase those same tickets before they sold out. When I got in I was so excited I did a little two step. Then I remembered it was hotter than hell and once we looked around we needed to find an area with hella shade.
Overall Curlfest 2019 was a very good experience. It was amazing to see so many black women owning their natural hair and the creativity with the outfits. I told my bestie that if I was a guy or a lesbian I would definitely find my queen among the multitude of gorgeous women. The things I didn’t care for were the lines which were close to, 2 hours for food, not scanning my ticket, and very lax enforcement for checking bags. We live in a crazy time and people are very trigger happy. I rather be safe than sorry. Oh I almost forgot after the festival we had to walk across a bridge from Randall’s Island to Manhattan. We went looking for a food and the place we choose charged $5 to eat your food there! Only in New York.
Enjoy the gallery!
I want her pick! 
This I wasn’t sure about, but I felt sorry for them because of the heat. 
It seemed like all the guys had a version of this shirt on! 
Her crown was glorious! 
He told me my smile was beautiful only because he said it. I want his pants though. 
Doing it for the culture.
