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6 years in the making
*TRIGGER WARNING*
Facebook does an amazing job of reminding you where you were when your life changes. Sometimes for the better and sometimes it could have been the worst day of your life.
6 years ago today my life changed dramatically. I was living in my own Lifetime Movie. I was driving home to Baltimore and was in a major car accident. Two weeks prior I had miscarried twins.
My car was clipped and I spun out across 4 lanes of traffic. I flipped and the only thing that saved me from continuing to flip was an exit sign on the highway.
Shook doesn’t even begin to describe my feelings. The car had to be stabilized and I had to crawl out the broken back window. When I saw my car, I couldn’t believe I was able to walk to the ambulance.
After I got over my shock I was mad as shit. I had just paid off that damn car the month before and had a full tank of gas. Now my car was totaled.
To round this all out I found out, that same day, my ex-husband had betrayed me and was on a cruise with someone else. The only word I can use to describe this time in my life is numb.
Healing Takes Time
I choose myself after 6 months.
I forgave myself after 2 years.
It took me 3 years to love myself.
It has taken 6 years to get me to this point in my life where I truly feel grateful to me, for not giving up on me.
Facebook reminded me today with this post that it has taken 6 years to get here.
Healing from multiple traumas takes time. It’s not a one-size-fits-all. Some people never truly heal. They just learn to live in a perpetual state of survival.
I could have done that. I wanted more for myself.
Whomever you are I want more for you. I want you to move into your version of thrive mode. I want you to know it is possible. Yes, there will be challenges, but the rewards are so much sweeter.
I want you to know I know you can do it. It has taken me 6 years to get here.
If you are interested in learning more about my story and starting your journey on self-healing start here.
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Juneteenth Remembrance -Rest
Juneteenth remembrance should be a day of rest. Rest is something that I have had problems with. Burned out does not even begin to describe how I felt being an educator and a business owner. The bags under my eyes, my skin, and my body all told the story. Trying to be my Ancestor’s wildest dreams I forgot that their major dream was to rest. To have a choice on when to work. Working hard is ingrained into our DNA. I am making a choice to not only rest in remembrance of Juneteenth, but to rest when my body tells me to.
Our Ancestors wildest dream was to rest.
Our Ancestors wildest dream was to laugh without punishment.
Our Ancestors wildest dream was to create just for themselves.
Our Ancestors wildest dream was freedom.
When we hustle hard, push through, and make a way we are only honoring one part of our Ancestors dreams. Today take time to rest in their honor. Take time to call family and friends to check in. Take time to create. Take time to do anything that gives you pleasure.
How are you honoring your Ancestors today?
The Juneteenth Affirmation is from Julia Mallory, Black Mermaids
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Patreace’s Boudoir Experience
Patreace’s Boudoir Experience started out with an initial consultation for a boudoir experience that was just for her. She was ready to step back into her sexy after getting married and having a baby. We spoke about her not having professional images of herself and her husband as a couple. She wanted to do something special to reinforce their connection to each other. Even with though the experience was for her she asked if she could do a few pictures with her husband and I said hell yes! I LOVE couple’s boudoir experiences!
Photographing couples is one of my absolute favorite things to shoot. There is a level of trust that has to be between the couple and the photographer. They are allowing you into their safe space of intimacy and that is not to be taken lightly. I am always honored when I get to do a boudoir experience, but doing a couples experience is a privilege. These experiences are filled with sexual energy, sexual tension, laughter, deeper intimacy, and a lot of lip biting! If you are a photographer interested in deepening your connection with your couples, click here.
The Gorgeous Couple
Now back to this gorgeous couple. Patreace stole the show with this one! She informed me that she had never done a professional shoot before. After the experience, I had to ask her again because she did sooo well! Patreace’s Boudoir Experience was all about her. She was ready and able to execute the poses which made my job so easy. Beauties are guided through each and every pose, but each person makes it their own. Patreace made it her own!
Check out this quick video of Patreace receiving her gorgeous products from her experience! Watch until the end to hear how she loved it and the level of intimacy it brought to her marriage.
Interested in a couple or solo boudoir experience? Get started by using this link to complete a short form and schedule your free consultation.
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4 WAYS TO GET SEXY FOR A BOUDOIR EXPERIENCE
For each consultation I always ask my Beauties, my clients, to use 3 to 4 words that describe who they are at this time in their life. Rarely does the word sexy come up. I have heard pretty, helpful, resilient, kind, and even beautiful, but rarely sexy. With this in mind I have decided to write this blog post on 4 WAYS TO GET SEXY FOR A BOUDOIR EXPERIENCE! I even made sure to post images. Enjoy!
1. Lose Weight
We all in some form or fashion have had a friend, family member or even a complete stranger say we need to lose weight. If we just lost a little weight we would look better. Or recently I heard if so and so lost weight they could get and keep a man. Whew child! Those people are not your friends and even family can get a side-eye and blocked. SEXY HAS NO SIZE! Sexy, like confidence, is a state of mind. No amount of weight loss will make you feel sexy if you don’t believe it.
2. Don’t Smile
During the initial consultation, we are laughing and having an amazing time getting to know each other. That same energy is carried into the actual experience. Joy is sexy. Laughter is sexy. Being happy is sexy! A boudoir experience is one way to honor your body as it is now. Your body is a work of art. It nourishes you, it has kept you alive during this pandemic. It needs to be celebrated. We need to look at our bodies and smile.
3. Straighten Your Hair
For special occasions throughout our history getting our hair pressed was a rite of passage. You have seen the memes around Easter of the hot comb. Or having to straighten your hair to look more presentable to get that job interview. Discrimination around our hair is very real and alive and well. Our hair is a beautiful reflection of who we are whether it be braided, relaxed, cornrowed, etc. All of these styles are sexy because we make them sexy. You make them sexy.
4. Only Wear Lingerie
When it comes to a boudoir experience you are in total control of what you place on your body. Lingerie is not really my jam. I love a good silk robe or my waistbands and nothing at all. That is my version of getting sexy. Yes, I have a full client closet with lingerie from sizes 5XL to XS. I also have sweaters, dress shirts, tank tops, crop tops, and t-shirts. Just like Black & Brown womxn come in all forms and shades, your sexy look should be a reflection of you.
To use these 4 ways to get sexy for a boudoir experience and began your journey of sexy on your on terms click here.
Check out the conversation on Instagram here.
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The Negus Project: Ron – A Vintage Man
The Negus Project: Ron, Vintage Man
Black men deserve their flowers while they are alive. Ron is a sweetheart and was so gracious. I was so honored that he allowed me to capture him. Enjoy!
What brings you joy?
FASHION! As a vintage reseller I have a passion and love of vintage clothing, really all clothing! My business has allowed me to branch into personal styling and now I have the pleasure of bringing joy and happiness to others through fashion.
What does vulnerability mean for you as a Black man? Do you feel you can show your vulnerability as a Black man?
Being able to clearly communicate my feelings and emotions is vulnerability. As a black man, I have to be very careful who I allow to see me in a vulnerable state. Many times the feelings and emotions of black men misunderstood. Showing strength and pride makes you aggressive, showing compassion and love makes you weak! I feel most comfortable being vulnerable when I trust the people around me. If the trust is not there I will have my guard up.
What makes you proud of being a Black man?
Being apart of culture of people who continue to strive for greatness in a world that is not set up for us to win.
How do you show up for yourself?
Going to the gym allows me to start my day with a clear mind to start my day. I have made my health a priority for the last 10 years.
Has this experience impacted you in some way?
This experience was a step out of my comfort zone, which actually very eye-opening. It’s not often as a black man, am I asked what makes me happy or how do I feel about myself or my life. Also taking photos showing my body was something that I was never really comfortable with, but this shoot allowed me to show or not show, and that made me open up even more.
What do you want other Black men who are considering doing the project to know?
Be open to something different! This opportunity allows you to be you with out strings attached.
To view the other men in the project click on their names:
