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My body is magnificent
I have not been taking good care of myself. Eating shit that is not healthy. Working until midnight and staring at the computer for hours. This weekend I decided a staycation was in order. I packed my things and headed to Baltimore making a promise to myself to leave social media alone! I read, watched Coming to America, and read some more. I finished 2 novellas and a book. Even found a new author, Jessica Cage.
I tell womxn to invest in their radical self-care on a daily basis and I was not doing the same for myself. I am going to start doing better because I have no other choice. If I want to make sure I am creating safe spaces. I have to make sure I am creating a nurturing and safe space for myself too.
I will be doing a series of images from this staycation. Be sure to come back and check it out.
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The Negus Project: Marcus
The Negus Project: Marcus – Let Niggas Be Gay
Creating safe spaces for Black women and femmes comes naturally to me. I see myself in each womxn I am able to connect with. I am a reflection of their strength, beauty, and sensuality. There is a major shift for Black womxn healing and creating their own narrative. That shift also needs to happen for Black men.
Black men should be allowed to show their vulnerability, sensuality and beauty in safe places. Meet Marcus or as I like to call him baby fava. He is an amazing home chef. I am trying to get him to start a Youtube. He can sang, not just sing and he loves to children enough to work in the thankless, but rewarding career of education. His is my friend and I am grateful to him for sharing his story. Enjoy!
What makes you proud of being a Black man?
There is a resilience it takes to be a black man today. The ability to get up every morning and shake off what the world throws at you and go and fight another day. I see the things that black men have created for me. The spaces they made and the resilience it took to stand up. I’ve embraced everything about me regardless and that relentless zeal makes me proud that I can look in the mirror everyday and fight for the life I desire.
What brings you joy?
I really get joy from seeing the people I love being happy. To see them living and fulfilling their dreams, doing something they love. It’s the look on their faces. The sparkle in their eyes. Seeing that in other people brings me joy. Also creating things brings me joy. Whether music, art, writing. It all sparks for joy for me.
What does vulnerability mean for you as a Black man? Do you feel you can show your vulnerability as a Black man?
Being vulnerable is the freedom to express whatever emotion you feel. Anger.Sadness. Excitement. Fear. It’s the ability to understand that those emotions exist, to recognize, and to honor them when you feel them. As a black man, it hasn’t always been easy to be vulnerable. Vulnerability is seen as a sign of weakness, but it really isn’t. It takes great strength to be vulnerable. I have the privilege of having a tribe around me who allow me the space to be vulnerable. Building that tribe of people took time, but it gave me a safe space when the world didn’t always have space for me and my larger emotions. In that space, I can be vulnerable with all my emotions. It public, larger feelings are not always welcome. After the Capitol Insurrection, I was angry, but showing rage is a “luxury afforded only to white men.” Public anger is not an emotion I can always afford.
How do you show up for yourself?
It starts with self-care and affirmations. I take time to set boundaries and do for me. I got to therapy once a month and group mindfulness sessions every week. I create space for art. I enjoy my work but I set clear guidelines for what I can and cannot do in a day. I spend time with people who make me feel good. I listen to my body, and most importantly (I cannot express how important this is) I drink plenty of water and mind my own fucking business. I keep my stress levels down and my anxiety under control by focusing on things within my sphere of influence.
Has this experience impacted you in some way?
I think this experience allowed me to see myself in a full authentic way. I was able to be myself in a way that both beautiful and masculine while being vulnerable and open. Olesha is such an amazing host and she let the conversation flow. I felt heard and seen. It felt comfortable.
What do you want other Black men who are considering doing the project to know?
Do it. The space is amazing and you’d be doing yourself a disservice by not participation. It’s an amazing experience and I learned so much about myself.
View images from other participants of The Negus Project:
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A year in review
Whew child! 2020 has been a year where I have stepped fully into damn myself. No longer worried about what others think of me and how I express myself. It has been a year for telling my story on my own terms. Embracing my spirituality and growing into my relationship with my Ancestors. Realizing that I have to be honest with myself, even when it hurts. Healing is a journey, even when you think you are finished, there is always more.
This year has also been the year for asking for help and building community. Being dependent on others and allowing people in has been a struggle. Not just a struggle, but a strug-gleee! Past trauma does that to us if we are not careful. Our past will show up in the present as self-sabotaging behavior or imposter syndrome and we don’t even realize it. I am grateful to my Ancestors and the Creator that amazing sister-friends are in my life who give it to me straight, no chaser! The end of 2020 has been emotional, but very much needed. A purge of my past to bring forth the love, sisterhood, and abundance I deserve.
Now that, that is out of the way, this has been a year of self-portraits for me. Honestly, it has helped me be a better boudoir photographer when I practice posing. It has also helped me get in touch with my inner goddess, sensuality, and sexuality. Check out my Tulum selfies here. My phone has been my self-portrait camera, but I decided to take it up a notch and use my baby with it’s self-timer. I plan to make this a monthly personal project and at the end of 2021 see my progression. Enjoy and Happy New Year!
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Ms. A- Fifty & Fine
Ms. A just celebrated her 50th birthday. I said MS. A JUST CELEBRATED HER 50TH BIRTHDAY! She looks damn good and I hope to hell I look half as good as she does at her age. I hope I have her courage, beauty, and joy when I get there. I am honored that she allowed me to be apart of her special day. Enjoy her beauty and how her experience was in her own words!
Check out Ms. A reacting to seeing her products & follow too!
Why would you suggest every Black womxn do their own boudoir experience?
It’s an empowering uplifting experience. It will help you tap into your sexy and embrace yourself.
Do you believe your boudoir experience empowered you? If yes, please explain.
Absolutely! I felt beautiful, sexy and comfortable in my skin.
What is one thing you would tell other womxn to do during their boudoir experience, that you wish you had done?
Use your imagination.
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The Negus Project – Cornelius
The Negus Project was started over 2 years ago after meeting Cornelius. The night we met we spoke about everything from travel to therapy. As I got to know him better we had conversations about the Black man’s plight in America. He gave me insight into what it means for him and his use of therapy to help navigate the bullshit. Cornelius is exactly who he says he is. He is an open book and that is why he is the first man for The Negus Project.
The Negus Project is for cis and Trans Black men to celebrate and share their experience of being a black man. If you are interested in being apart of The Negus Project, send me an email.
